Thursday, July 15, 2010

My Night as a Naughty Princess (or How I Almost Lost a Friend)

Calm down, handsome hubby. Kasha (not to be confused with Ke$ha) says "naughty princess" is the technical term for the Cha Cha.

Well, maybe not technical so much as descriptive -- your upper body mimics the poise of a princess, but everything below your torso moves with just a little bit of naughty. (Cha cha cha!)

Or in my case, ridiculous.

No, this is not the post you've been waiting for. Naughty Hotties is - gulp - tonight. But as I am quickly learning, there's a little bit of "naughty" in pretty much every style of dance.

Not something I warned my friend Sue about when I bribed encouraged her to join me for my second class of Salsa Burn.

Sue: Will it be hard?
Me: Not at all. It will be fun.
Sue: Fun sounds good. What time should I pick you up?
Me: Uh, 6:30?
Sue: But class starts at 7:15, no?
Me: Yes, but I like the back row.

I actually don't *like* the back row. I need the back row. Still camouflaged behind a sea of waving arms and swaying hips, I can keep one eye on Kasha's butt feet and the other on Sue. And when the class is jam-packed (as it was last night), I can't even see myself in the mirror. Cha-ching!

Sue: I'm sweating.
Me: This is the warm-up.
Sue: Really? How long have we been here?
Me: 10 minutes.
Sue: *scrunches face in disapproval* Will we be friends after this?
Me: *smiling* Doubtful.

I confess, after Tuesday's Hip Hop Flop and last week's Salsa Fizzle, I fully expected to crash and burn last night. I definitely burn - my thighs and abs and butt muscles are still on fire - but much to my delight, I didn't crash. At least not fully.

Me: Don't worry about your arms right now.
Sue: So, you're an expert now?
Me: What? No! I just don't want you to be frightened away.
Sue: Are you calling me a chicken?
Me: Huh? No! It's just there's a lot of coordination. You know, moving your feet like this. (*demonstrates basic Salsa step*) And then popping the hip, and...
Sue: So I'm not coordinated?
Me: That's not what I meant...
Sue: Perhaps you should clarify.
Me: *turns to front* I'll just look this way.
Sue: You do that.

I confess to loving the class. LOVING. Kasha exudes a confidence that is contagious, and much like Jessica, her smile is infectious. Maybe it was having Sue whining crying  sweating along with me, or my inability to see my two left feet in the mirror, or replaying Jessica's encouragement email over and over in my head - but something just felt...different. Almost like an a-ha! moment (not THAT A-ha, Mi. Sorry.)

I allowed myself to get swept up in the music and the laughter. Did I hit the steps? Not even close. And don't even get me started on the two new moves Kasha introduced (but thanks to Mel, last week's instructor, for giving me a little one-on-one help with that...). My arms refuse to move with my feet, but apparently my hips don't mind the gentle sway.

Sue: You said this wouldn't be hard.
Me: I lied.
Sue: Clearly. Anything else I should know?
Me: I don't think so.

Well, except for that (long) song-and-a-bit worth of squats.

Sue: I hate squats.
Me: There's just a few.
Sue: *scrunches face in disapproval* I hate squats.

We finished with some wonderful meditation-style stretches, the kind that might have put me to sleep had I not heard Sue's whispered threats.

Sue: Are you hurting?
Me: Yes.
Sue *louder* Anything I can do to make your pain worse?
Me: Shhh.
Kasha: How's everyone feeling?
Sue: Like I want to kill my friend.

Sue's threats continued throughout the drive.

Sue: I've never sweat so much. I'm going to melt.
Me: Time to dust off the broom?
Sue: Broom? Why would I need a broom?
Me: Uh... wasn't that a reference to the Wicked Witch? You know, melting and all?
Sue: *gasping* I meant sugar!
Me: Oh crap.

As I climbed out of her car with ginger-like care, Sue stopped me with a murderous glare. My breath hitched.

Sue: I have a premonition.
Me: You're going to kill me tomorrow?
Sue: Probably. But I think I'll be sore tomorrow.

Yep, you will. But I also have a premonition, Sue. You'll be back next week.

The Book In My Bag Today: Kindred in Dead, J.D. Robb


  1. Bahahahaha!! Isn't it great when you move up a level to "knowing what's coming"?? I love it :) Keep it up, hotty!!

  2. PS - my word verification for that comment was "fatal" Lolzzz...

  3. ahhh sounds like such a great class for you this go round, you sound more at ease with the concept of this whole dance fitness thing. Glad you had Sue joining in on your fun. :-)
    And yes, she will be back, I'm sure of it. I would be.

  4. Ah ha ha! Fatal. Perfect. I'm sending you Sue's phone number in case she is nimble enough this morning to actually kill me... :-)

  5. Jamie - Not *fully* at ease but having someone else there AND not being able to judge myself in the mirror are definite motivators. I expect to see you there sometime :-P

  6. Very funny post Dawn! Great to hear you are enjoying the dance classes. From your tone you seem quite energetic too! Keep us updated on your adventures:)


  7. Thanks, Val. It's tough to avoid enthusiasm when you're working with the instructors at J'Adore Dance. It's quite an amazing team.

  8. Awesome post. The dialogue is hilarious. Good for you and Sue for getting your naughty on! ; )

  9. Thanks Suzanne. I admit I took a *little* creative liberty, but this whole dancing thing is an exercise in "thinking outside the box" to better my writing.

  10. LMAO!!

    Wish I'd joined you after all :)

  11. Well I will admit I enjoyed it as well...more so than I thought I would. It certainly helps to go with someone, see someone else's pain and lack of coordination that is similar to mine. Thanks will live and I will be back!

  12. Donna - I bet Sue wishes you'd been there as well. It could have been YOUR dialogue on here ;-P

    Sue - are you saying I'm not coordinated? I need clarification! Seriously though, you rock. Thanks so much for coming with me. I'm looking forward salsa-ing with you for the next 6 weeks <3

  13. LOL... Nice. Next time I visit... DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT! :P

  14. Aw shucks. *kicks curb* I was totally counting on you to come to Naughty Hotties, Kyle.

  15. You're freakin brave girl! Get it done! I know I couldn't.

  16. Candy - if I can do it, ANYONE can. Honest.

  17. Such a brave soul! If I went y'all would be asking me to wait outside because you'd be laughing so hard you'd all wet yourselves.

  18. Haha. Love your blog. So funny. You're a talented writer!


    Best wishes from one blogger to another,


  19. That's how I felt, Vicki. I still think that people snicker, but at least if they are laughing, I'm already soaking in a hot bath and can't hear it.

    Thanks so much Zabrinah. I appreciate the blogger support. :-)

  20. hilarious!
    i think someone needs to keep a camera on you and sue because your banter is SO friggen' funny!

    and how special did i feel to get my own mini shout-out?

  21. There's definitely a bit of naughty in all dance. That's why it's referred to as vertical sex. Or at least, I'VE heard that reference. (I've also heard sex referred to as horizontal dancing, so any way you look at it, dancing is a great way.)

  22. Mi, darling, the minute someone puts a camera on me I am SO out of there :-) You ARE special. Hugs.

  23. Wendy - No wonder my husband was so agreeable to me taking these classes!

  24. BUWAHAHAHAHA! This was fabulous! I love Sue's 'voice' (is this her real voice, or your interpretation?)--she'd make an EXCELLENT character.

    Glad you're loving the class so much!

  25. Hart - I'd say this is Sue's fictionalized voice, though she has an amazing and fun sarcasm about her that is one of the reasons I adore her so much. Yes, I do believe she would make a great character. I'm lucky she's also an amazing friend.