The dawn of a *new* E-rotica (not the genre)

The amazing Deanne

I'm not feeling particularly *naughty hottie* this morning.

The blister on my big toe has ballooned and become *one* with half the bottom of my foot. The curve in my back feels permanent - and oddly Quasimoto as I jerk walk down the hallway. When I look in the bathroom mirror, I'm expecting to see the rest of the bruises left behind by the mack track that must have hit me in my dreams.

Alas, only the shadows beneath my eyes are dark.

I'm a hurting unit, my friends.

Truthfully, I suspect the pain has less to do with last night's trial Naughty Hottie class at J'Adore Dance, and more to do with the previous evening of Fit Hop and Dance Quickie. Between Jessica and Liesa, my friends (Karen, Sue and Donna) and I were tortured challenged. Even with the advantage of muddling through the class before, the steps kicked the crap out of me. Fit Hop is not for the weak at heart. Still, we did it with a smile. Yes, even Karen! (xoxo)

The expression on my face last night was something akin to fear...and at times, awe.

Naughty Hotties is a fusion of fitness and Burlesque-style dance. Jessica created the program to help women - of all shapes and sizes - feel comfortable in their skin. If you've been hanging around this blog for a while, you know I am not the slightest bit comfortable in my skin - and I have two left feet. Add to that the out-of-this-world sex appeal of last night's instructor, Deanne, and it could have been the recipe for disaster.

Not quite.

I employed all of the tactics Jessica taught me in the first session. (Confession: I did not finish the first season of Naughty Hotties, and I completely avoided it in the fall. I made a resolution to see it through this time. NO excuses.) Taking a deep breath, I coerced Erotica-D (my Burlesque alter ego) out of hiding and commanded her to let go of all inhibitions. To dance like there's no one watching.

But Dawn, that pesky inner critique, couldn't take her catty eyes off Erotica-D and that fear continued to bubble, until it became as much a beacon of self-consciousness as the red shirt I was wearing. (Sidenote: who the hell wears a RED shirt to a class they hope to "blend" into?) Erotica-D went into hiding - deep hiding - and instead of leaning on her, I looked for support from Donna and Karen.

I am so insanely proud of my girls for busting out of their comfort zones, and truthfully, embracing the class with much more grace than I ever have. That's my first awe.

My second is Deanne.

Not only is she beautiful - inside and out - but she's fierce. I loved the break-down of the routine, especially the hilarious narrative between moves (and sometimes during) that stopped my fear of looking ridiculous from becoming absolute terror. And wow, can she move. At the end of the class, Deanne showed us what the dance could look like.

I want to do that!

For my husband.

Sometime in the distant future.

One of my resolutions this year is to love myself more - which is pretty much the philosophy behind Jessica's Naughty Hottie program. I'm hoping that the AWEsome Deanne can help me find the inspiration to see that through.

The Book In My Bag Today: Living Dead in Dallas, Charlaine Harris