Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Would you kiss these lips?

Let's face it, Steven Tyler is not the most attractive man in the music industry. His lips are a little too big, his legs far too skinny, his "assets" way too...out there...

Yet, each time I watch him perform live, I'm compelled to watch his every move. And forced to admit, the Aerosmith frontman straddles the line between sexy and downright gross.

This isn't the first Aerosmith concert I've attended - my youth is peppered with an eclectic sampling of performances I've stood in line for. I've talked dirty with Poison (three times), helped Alice Cooper take out the garbage, watched Def Leppard pour some sugar on me, gone for a ride in Prince's little red corvette, rocked out with the Boss, been to never never land with Metallica and spent a considerable amount of time (though not nearly enough) with Bon Jovi.

And that's just a (small) sampling.

There's a scar on my hand from hopping a barbed wire fence to meet Skid Row, and I still remember the scent of Janie Lane's hairspray when he gave me a hug after a Warrant / Danger Danger concert. Sad, I know. I've slept outside the Calgary Saddledome to secure front row tickets for anything from Motley Crue to Tiffany (*blushing*), and logged overtime hours at the fast-food-job-of-the-month for a collection of concert shirts I no longer wear.

Good times, back then.

Back when it was mostly about rock - and admittedly, hairbands and heavy metal.

My tastes are even more eclectic now, and the music loaded on my iPod tends to lean toward the commercial pop/hip hop playing on the radio. I don't mind Tik Tok'ing with Ke$ha, or occasionally hitting Britney one more time. I'm more than willing to stand up and watch Eminem and Rihanna burn. And, since I have a teenaged stepdaughter, yes, Biebs, when you smile, I smile. Gag.

But after nights like last, when Steven Tyler is doing that oddly appealing strut across the stage, and I'm still gob-smacked at Joan Jett's amazing arm definition (Yes, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts OPENED for Aerosmith), I'm reminded of how much I miss the concert scene, and some of that old school music.

I don't have a single Aerosmith song loaded on my iPod but I sang along to all but one tune. And watching Steven slither in tight yellow pants had me up on my feet dancing - though not anything the girls at J'Adore Dance would applaud. (Jess dear, I thought about popping my chest, but there was a rather well endowed woman beside me who seemed to have cornered the market. Kasha darling, somehow the cha cha didn't feel quite right for Love in an Elevator. Right? And Juicy J, Steven did enough Naughty Hottie moves for all of Edmonton last night...I've yet to master that crotch-grabbing, hip-popping style.)

I hadn't planned on going to the concert last night (lack of finances often triumph over want these days) but couldn't resist the comp ticket and awesome company - and though I dreamed of Steven's hips lips, I woke up intent to reload my iPod. I'm also a little stiff from all that step-together "dancing" (grin). Pretty sure Kasha's going to kill me tonight at Salsa Burn.

So tell me, any wild concert stories you're willing to share? Who's the rocker who rocks your world?

The Book In My Bag Today: The Search, Nora Roberts


  1. Oh man *restrains self* Steven Tyler was like my 2nd father. I went to my first Aero concert at 7, and their music literally raised me at times. I love this man. Lovelovelove.

  2. Seriously Candy, I thought of you while writing this post. Steven Tyler was NOT the front man I expected you to publicly love here, though. The girl I went with was not as smitten with Steven - we should have gone together :-)

  3. No rocker stories here but can't hear 'I think we're alone now and not think of you. Oddly, I have the urge to start dancing where ever I am.
    You ruined me, girly :-P

  4. I don't have "rock" stories, however I have "teen dream" weekends (all of these when I was well beyond my teens). Teen Dream#1-flew to Washington to see Def Leppard at the Gorge, then drove to Vancouver to see Donny Osmond.

    Teen Dream #2-Portland to see Duran Duran

    Teen Dream #3-Vegas to see the Backstreet Boys (surprisingly good)

    And I find Steven Tyler incredibly attractive, not good looking but compelling and sexual.

  5. My 11-yr-old just went to his first rock concert last month...Aerosmith! Sammy Hagar opened, which is beautiful irony since my first rock concert was Foreigner, opening act Sammy Hagar ;-)

    As for those who've rocked my world: Journey (stormed the stage and loved every minute of it), and Loverboy *blushes but raises head high with pride* (also stormed stage) Will remember this concert always b/c best friend discovered a guitar pick in her bra when she got home (Yes, we were that close) and other friend was killed one week later by police when he was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

  6. Jamie - thankfully, someone destroyed the ridiculous video my sister and I created with a home made choreographed dance to that friggin' song. I can still remember the moves! *blush*

    Tielle - I've seen Duran Duran twice. Love them :-) (One of my high school BF's had a thing for Simon Le Bon.) And my other high school BF has been to about 65 Def Leppard concerts. I've seen them twice as well. I'm totally on board with your Steven assessment, and am reminded of this every time I see Aerosmith live.

    Wendy - bittersweet memories from Loverboy :-( I was thrilled to see the age range of concert goers last night - MANY 11-year olds. How cool for your son and yes, wonderful irony.

  7. I've never seen Aerosmith in concert but I did have a Steven Tyler sighting at Universal Studios theme park in Orlando. He was there riding the rides with his entourage. He walked right past us. I was surprised at how short and skinny he was. My 17 year old niece took one look and fell in love with him. There's just something about him isn't there?

  8. RT - Steven was sighted at West edmonton Mall's Galaxyland as well. Must have a thing for rides. Yes, there IS just something about him. If your neice fell in love with a "sighting" it would be fun to see her swoon at a concert.

  9. C'mon Dawn! Once your a New York Times bestselling author you be able to chest thrust and crotch grab right along with matter how ugly he is! LOL

    Glad you had a great time at the concert last night!

  10. I haven't been to many concerts. I think I've always found it too noisy.

  11. Karen darling, if I am EVER a NY Times Bestselling author, I am dragging you to 100 Aerosmith concerts until you concede - without the influence of alcohol - that Steven is compelling and sexy, despite his lack of instant visual appeal :-P <3

    WW - as I was walking out of work yesterday, my boss said: Take earplugs! And I was like: Huh? How will I hear anything. I only find concerts too noisy when the sound guys are morons :-)

  12. My husband and I have wildly different tastes. I begged to go to the Cure, he took me to Grateful Dead. I wanted Depeche Mode, he wanted Stevie Nicks.

    And yet, we somehow made it all work. Now that we live in IOWA, it's a lot harder to get to concerts. A lot of bands don't stop here, and if they do, it's a 2 hour drive on a weeknight. That 2 hours is a hurdle when you're still on the road at 1 or 2 a.m. and have to get up for work at 6!

  13. I ADORE Steven Tyler! He is my definition of sexy as a personality. I agree that feature by feature you can't quite figure it out, but he is so completely in touch with it... OUT THERE with it. It's like what Captain Jack is going for in characature, but it is the real Steven Tyler. That playful, gender bending, shake it thing... Oh yeah.

    I envy your youth in a location you could enjoy so many bands (my youth was in metal-headland, too). I only have one Aerosmith CD, but it is because I rarely buy for myself and my husband and kids don't get it (took me 4 years to convince them YES, I really want a Led Zepplin)

  14. Vicki - after high school I lived in a SMALL town and concerts were definitely a luxury, and a pain in the butt because we had to drive two hours to a major city. But I live in Edmonton now and we get some pretty big acts. Sadly, I can never afford them :-)

    Hart - I had no idea there were so many Steven Tyler fans. I figured I'd be a bit alone in my adoration. Like you, I rarely buy for myself and my husband would probably skim over Aerosmith (even though he likes them) and go for something way too heavy or way to poppy simply because that's what his daughter listens to on the radio.

  15. Ooo. You've seen Prince! I'm so jealous.

    Your post reminded me of the Bon Jovi concert I went to in Jersey in 1987. My hair made me 6 feet tall.

    I may have to blog about it tomorrow. ;)

  16. Suzanne - Prince was AMAZING. But, so is Bon Jovi. I've seen him a few times - once with big hair, several times since - and I'm in awe of how well he has aged. Looking forward to reading your blog about it!

  17. Sounds like there are some future blog posts in some of those experiences ... just saying. I was a fan of the Talking Heads (now reunited) and the Eurythmics. Now I just rock/folk out to Michael Franti and Spearhead!

  18. Holly Molly girl, you've got good taste. Actually, my musical preferences are a lot like yours! Still, I do think Steven is quite, well, ugly. But just like Mick Jagger, he`s got that rocker aura, and that always helps with the ladies ;D
    My rocker? U have to promise not to laugh: Good guy Bono. I just love the guy!